No Surrender

What’s the closest you’ve come to giving up and doing something else?

Every pursuit of a creative profession is different. I learned I will not stop being a designer a couple years ago. I was more anxious about a poster project than I had been for any other I’d ever worked on. I feared my career was on the line.

Momentarily, peace of mind came with the realization that even if the project is dropped completely, it’s not going to erase my ability to, or interest in design. In my head to that point, my entire career was at stake with each gig…

That’s an insane way to work. Operating that way makes the work suffer. It’s a disservice to you, your clients or audience, and anyone you care about. Do not do that.

It’s a weird topic…giving up. It can be interpreted different ways. It can be smart. Realizing you’re not equipped for whatever it is you’re doing, and putting your time and energy elsewhere…could be brilliant. It can be looked down upon…seen as not having the strength to work toward and achieve a goal. And it can be a bunch of other shit too…likely filled with corporate buzz words I don’t really want to use. So with that, let’s get to the thoughts of some amazing creative people.

Below, I have Dick Zigun, Joanna Hausmann, and Midnight Marauder to describe brushes they’ve had with creative instability, how, and why they persisted…


Dick Zigun,
Founder of the Coney Island Circus Sideshow

Dick founded Coney Island USA in 1980 and since then, has dedicated his life to the unordinary. Coney Island is a magical place, and Dick has everything to do with it’s modern identity. Coney is among the main elements in the make up of New York City. At the same time, it kinda has nothing to do with New York, and can even feel like something far, far away. It’s got it’s own thing going.

Dick established, and maintains that identity. He’s a complete, true creative, and seems hell bent to show the world that it can be seen differently. That’s what I’m shooting for as a creative, too. I don’t know Dick, at all, but he was wonderful enough to tell me a bit about himself…


What’s the closest you’ve come to giving up and doing something else?

“In Fall of 1995 we lost the lease on the Boardwalk building that had been our headquarters for 11 years. Half our Board of Directors resigned & we obviously had no funds & no right to keep on. I made a personal choice to lease another building on Surf Avenue, the 100 year old NYC landmark we now own…but at the time colleagues thought I was insane & I questioned my sanity as well. I maxed out credit cards to buy building materials I couldn’t afford & took a F/T outside job to keep our staff going. I lived in a tiny room with 2 snakes 2 cats and a dog.

For years I lived in the sideshow building with no real life of my own but…EVERYTHING good that’s happened since that insane decision 21 years ago has been the direct result of the insane 1995 choice when I should have given up & gotten a job teaching college.


Joanna Hausmann,
Comedian/Writer

In most instances, Joanna’s brain is likely to be in three places at the same time. Here, there, and everywhere. Her comedy and writing are manifestations of that. She’s studied, quick, and two steps ahead of you, albeit in a different direction…

I get the sense that she’s searching, creatively speaking. As a collaborator, that’s incredible to work with; it’s ideal. In my case, she makes me a better designer. That was not an alliance I expected to gain when I met her, a comedian.

I got to work with Joanna every day at a website called Flama, which previously employed us both. She’s now a correspondent on Netflix’s Bill Nye Saves The World, and a regular performer with the Upright Citizen’s Brigade in New York. Here’s what she’s got to say…

What’s the closest you’ve come to giving up and doing something else?

“I think about giving up all the time. Every single time I have an audition I get so stressed I wonder what my life would be if I had a “normal” job with benefits and Keurig machine. Every time I have a big show I try to convince myself I don’t have what it takes to make people laugh. Every time I press send to an email that has a writing sample I spent days agonizing over attached to it, I think “this is stupid Joanna, you wasted your time.” I did the math. I have these sabotaging thoughts at least twice a month. And I used to take them seriously …. now I don’t.

The thought of quitting is never fueled by indifference; it is fueled by fear. The fear of failing. The fear of being judged. The fear of realizing my dreams are silly and unattainable. It’s seems easier to just quit and never find out what you fear the most; I’m not good enough. Once I realized the thought of quitting is actually a reflection of how much I cared, I knew I would never quit. The thoughts will come. And they will come religiously. But when they do, I know it’s a sign I’m doing something I fear which means I’m doing something right.


Midnight Marauder,
Designer

When I look at the film posters Midnight Marauder has made, I feel I’m spending a single moment with the film. His choice of image, what other image(s) it’s paired with, the colors, and type, all let me know what it’s like to live within that film.

He’s incredibly profound and articulate with the most basic ingredients…image, color, type, and composition. That’s it. His work is tonal, and atmospheric…it tells me very specifically what I’ll see, and so very little at the same time. That’s the perfect bait to get me to a movie. It’s simple, pretty, and enticing.

I’ve admired his work for a long time, and was thrilled to learn a bit about his background…

What’s the closest you’ve come to giving up and doing something else?

“That’s a pretty refreshing question. I don’t think I’ve ever been asked that before from anybody.

It’s definitely happened quite a few times, I’ve had some major set backs and failed a few times along the way. I don’t want to give up … I don’t want to give up on myself or my family. I’ve always wanted to work in film and I kinda fell into graphic design cause I failed in comic books and illustration. So this means everything to me. My passion is that strong and I won’t give up, ever !!


Whether it’s staring you in the face, or something you always notice at just a bit of a distance, that fear of everything going south always seems to be there. Ain’t that some shit.

You have to respond and adjust to the circumstances before you in order to survive. Change, and grow, yes…but give up, nah.

More info on Dick at coneyisland.com.
More info on Joanna at joannahausmann.com, or youtube.com/johaus89.
More info on Midnight Marauder a midnight-marauder.com.
Header image by Derek Gabryszak.

Thanks for reading Question Market 8!

Derek

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